Aggressive kids born of poor parenting

02:27 Entertainment, Health, India News, Motivation, News, Tips, Top News No Comments

 

 Kozhikode: Poor parenting and changes in lifestyle brought about by  the new socio-economic realities are also to blame for the increasing aggressiveness displayed by children and their use of abusive language today, believes noted psychiatrist, Dr S. Santhakumar.

 

“Changes in the socio-economic profile of the st­ate during the past three or four decades have to be taken into account while addressing the issue,” he says.

 

While agreeing that the language used by the new generation cinema and  on television has a big  influence on  children who are at an impressionable age and scores of studies have established the negative influence of television on them, he says this alone  cannot be blamed  for the foul language used by many of them today.

 

“We have to look at the larger picture as in most families parents don’t have enough time for their children as they are both working. They may think that by working hard to make  a living they are providing for their children’s future,  but unfortunately it is not so simple. Children have their own fantasies and desires and if parents are unable to devote more time to listening to them,  they  will try to fulfill them through other sources,” he warns.

 

“This is especially important in the age of the Internet and mobile phones. I am not saying parents should spy on their children, but they should have a clear understanding about the kind of networking they have, “ he underlines.

 

Although in most cases  children can be cured of aggressive behavior if the problem is addressed, in  some cases they are beyond help, he says. “ I feel sad for such children and their parents,” he adds. 

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5 Secrets to a Happy Marriage: Revealed by Divorce

23:09 Entertainment, General Tips, Tips No Comments

 
In 25 years of studying marriage, Dr. Terri Orbuch, research professor at the University of Michigan and author of the new book "Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship," has found that some of the best relationship advice comes from people who are actually divorced.

WATCH: Is this the Most Epic Marriage Proposal?

In 1986, Orbuch embarked on a long-term study, supported by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), which followed the relationships of 373 newlyweds. By 2012, 46% had divorced, about the same as the national average.

In interviews with Orbuch, people who had divorced or ended a serious relationship over and over again brought up the same five issues that they would improve if they had the chance to do it all again.

1. Money. Over the course of her research, one the biggest surprises for Orbuch was the role money played in marital strife. “Many divorced singles say that money was the number one source of conflict in the early years of marriage,” she tells Yahoo! Shine. She also found that, “6 out of 10 said they would not share living expenses in their next relationship.” She recommends that each partner evaluate their own approach to spending and saving money and discuss with their spouse early on. She says there is no one-size-fits-all-financial plan, but couples need to determine their own rules and adhere to them.

2. Affection. Another surprise was that men crave affection—but not necessarily sex—more than women. “It’s counterintuitive,” says Orbuch, “but men crave feeling special and being noticed by their wives.” She adds that men who report not getting enough nonsexual affection were twice as likely to ask for a divorce, but the reverse was not true for women. “Women are fortunate. We get this kind of affirmation from more people in our lives, our mothers, children, our best friends”—so women tend to need less from husbands. She recommends carving out time for regular cuddling, kissing, hand holding, and saying “I love you.”

3. Blame. “When divorced couples found fault with their relationship using ‘we’ statements, they were significantly more likely to find love than those who used ‘I’ or ‘you’ statements.” Those who found blame in factors such as being incompatible or too young experienced less anxiety, insomnia, and depression than those who blamed their former partner or themselves for a break-up. Examine what went wrong in the relationship instead of assigning individual blame, suggests Orbuch, and think about how you can resolve conflict better next time.

4. Communication.

Orbuch says a trap many couples fall into is “maintenance” rather than true communication. She suggests having a “10 minute rule” every day when you, “Talk to your partner about something other than work, the relationship, the house, or the children.” The key is revealing something about yourself and learning something about your spouse. “Forty-one percent of divorced people say they would change their communication style,” says Orbuch,“and, 91% of happily married couples say they know their partner intimately.”

5. Move on.

Letting go of the past is a key to being in a happy relationship. This is true for people who are currently married as well as those seeking love. If you are irked by thoughts of your partner’s old boyfriend or girlfriend or of a fight that happened weeks ago, you might not be interacting in a healthy, positive way. “That animosity prevents you from being fully present,” says Orbuch. She also points out that people who felt neutral toward their ex were significantly more likely to find love after a divorce. If you can’t let go of your anger, her book outlines a number of exercises including writing a detailed letter to the person you are angry at—and burning it.

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7 things men find unattractive about women

23:00 Entertainment, News, Tips No Comments

Unattractive female habits

Too much makeup, talking about bodily functions, and belittling the opposite sex are just a few of the female habits that men find unattractive about women. We know that not all women are like this, but when we meet them, boy do we know about it. Here are seven things men find unattractive in a woman:

Unattractive female habit 1: Being too drunk

We all love a girl who knows how to have a good time but when she’s had such a good time that she’s slumped over a bar with her knickers tucked into her skirt and toilet paper trailing from her shoe, it’s not attractive and it doesn’t make us want to walk over and kiss you in a “hands off folks – she’s mine” kind of manner. You ladies also have the tendency to speak so loud that you drown the music out in a loud bar when you’re drunk. There’s nothing wrong with getting merry, but when everyone starts looking at us because we’re with “that drunk woman” who is putting her skirt over her head and laughing hysterically, it’s embarrassing.

Unattractive female habit 2: Talking about bodily functions

Yes, we know we agreed not to keep secrets from each other but can we skip that rule on this occasion? The day we realised that women do ‘number twos’ was the day our world came crashing down, bringing all our sexual fantasies down with it. When you’re spending a long time in the bathroom, we like to think that it’s because you’re refreshing your makeup and hair. We could possibly – emphasis on the word “possibly” – stretch our imagination to think that you may be going for a tinkle, but we’d rather not. Please don’t talk about any of your bodily functions; leave topics about “the time of the month” and your bowel movements for your girl friends.

Unattractive female habit 3: Excessive body hair

We associate body hair with testosterone and testicles so seeing it in excessive amounts on a woman can be quite a turn off. We know it’s painful to go through the rigmarole of waxing, plucking, epilating, and whatever other fancy hair removal systems you use (notice how we know all about this stuff because it’s one of those things you nag about?) but at least keep it trimmed so it looks presentable.

Unattractive female habit 4: Too much makeup

It’s great to take pride in your appearance and that goes for clothes, hair, and makeup too. If this is a first date, wearing minimal makeup to enhance your looks is sexier than the overdone look, in our opinion. If we’ve been together for a while, we love you no matter how much makeup you wear, but we’d prefer it if you kept it to a minimum. Purple, pink and green eye shadow with red lips? Someone pass my sunglasses. We go in for a kiss and end up looking like a clown from the circus and it isn’t a good look for either of us. Ladies, if you insist on wearing that much makeup, please refrain from snuggling up on our shoulders – that’s my favourite white shirt you just stained with your makeup.

Unattractive female habit 5: Belittling us

We can just about cope with being called “snuggle bunny” and “baby boy” but when you belittle us to the point that we look stupid in front of other people, that’s one step too far. Don’t correct everything we do and say as if we don’t know anything. Just because we do things differently to you, that doesn’t mean that your way is right.
Unattractive female habit 6: Swearing

We can forgive you the odd cheeky swear word, but when you’re effing and jeffing like there’s no tomorrow it can be a real turn-off for some men. We like our ladies with a touch of class and cramming your vocabulary with swear words doesn’t quite ooze sophistication. What’s wrong with using normal words to express your feelings? Dictionaries and thesauruses are brimming with options – take your pick. We’re not suggesting that you express your feelings using sentences such as “I am feeling ever so disenchanted” or “I’m awfully embittered by this” but saying something along the lines of “I am flipping angry” or “this is blimming frustrating” are much nicer replacements for sentences packed with foul words.

Unattractive female habit 7: Nagging

We’ve spent long enough silently moaning to ourselves about how annoying women are when they nag, that we’re taking this opportunity to get it off our chests once and for all. We can’t usually raise it in conversation you see, because no matter how delicately we approach the idea that you might possibly annoy us when you nag, we will be sentencing ourselves to even more endless nagging about pointing out that your nagging is getting too much. You nag at us for leaving the toilet seat up, you nag at us for “not caring”, you nag at us for not shaving for a few days... sheesh. Would you prefer us to go to the toilet sitting down? Would you prefer us to be over emotional? And perfectly groomed? Then you’d nag at us for not being manly enough. Three words: we can’t win. Don’t mess with how nature intended men to be, and we won’t mess with ho

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22:04 Body Care, Health, Tips No Comments

Make 1 SIMPLE Change and Lose Weight

 We all know that losing weight requires some changes in our eating habits. But many of us avoid making those changes for one obvious reason: It seems too darned hard.

Well, here's a simple, novel approach endorsed by top nutritionists: Make just one change. For the next month, focus on a single improvement, whether it's doubling your fruit intake, adding some protein or switching to nonfat milk.

"Small changes can make a big difference," says Melanie Polk, M.S., R.D., director of nutrition education at the American Institute for Cancer Research. For instance, if you drink 3 cups of milk a day for a month, the switch from reduced-fat to nonfat will save you 3,000 calories -- nearly enough to lose 1 pound!

What's more, changing one habit at a time gives you a sense of success: You'll see results and be able to stick to your plan. Soon, the habit will be second nature. Then you'll be inspired to add another change, and another. This works far better than a drastic dietary overhaul, which leads to feelings of failure and deprivation. "People end up regaining all the weight they've lost, often even more," says Jonelle Rowe, M.D., a physician with the Office on Women's Health in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

When you make dietary changes step by step, you lose weight at a sensible pace and develop habits you can keep. "Dieting for weight loss shouldn't be an event," says Seattle nutritionist Susan Kleiner, Ph.D., R.D. "It's not something you gear up for, do for an intense period of time and then you're done. You need to make lifestyle changes that will be yours for the rest of your life."

Here are two simple dietary changes with big payoffs, both for weight control and good health. Start with the one that seems most feasible to you.

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Schoolgirls skip meals to be thinner

23:46 Body Care, News, Tips No Comments

A new study has revealed that schoolgirls as young as 12 are unhappy with their weight and some are skipping meals in an effort to be skinnier.

Half of girls in year eight - who are aged 12 and 13 - said they wanted to be thinner.

And 58 per cent of girls in year ten, aged 14 or 15, said they wanted to lose weight, according to the study by the Schools Health Education Unit.

In the research, 31,354 boys and girls aged ten to 15 were questioned about their eating habits and body image.

A quarter of year ten girls skipped breakfast on the morning they were questioned and 20 per cent had skipped lunch the day before.

Of those who had skipped breakfast, 36 per cent had avoided eating lunch on the previous day.

Meanwhile experts have warned that if many of the girls keen to lose weight started dieting they could be putting their health at risk.

"An analysis of the characteristics of the year ten females shows that most of those wanting to lose weight are within the limits of 'healthy' weight, and some are already underweight," the Daily Mail quoted the researchers as saying.

The survey also found that while around 16 per cent of children thought that their health was down to luck, three-quarters of pupils in years eight and ten said they felt 'in charge' of their health.

Health campaigners said the results were unsurprising considering young people's exposure to airbrushed images of celebrities in magazines.

The same survey found that many teenagers feel they are not getting enough sleep to concentrate at school.

Twenty-eight per cent of girls and 22 per cent of boys in year ten thought they needed more sleep.

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Top 10 "ugly" buildings to visit

05:14 Knowledge, News, Tips No Comments

10. Royal National Theatre; London, U.K. Yes, Shakespeare wrote that "All the world's a stage..." but he might not have had he lived to see 1970s. While we love the idea of the theatre and the world-class productions mounted here, our feelings don't quite extend to the actual building.

9. The Pixel Buildling; Melbourne, Australia Yes, the building is carbon neutral, but how many Olympic mascot pins had to die to make it? While we love that the building is self-sufficient (they even collect their own rain water on the roof), we just wish it were a tad more subtle.

8. Trump Tower; New York City, New York When it was completed in the early 80s it was considered the signature building of its time...and that's part of the problem. Downright dull on the outside, dizzyingly gaudy on the inside, this outdated building is generally only visited by tourists as it is almost universally avoided by actual New Yorkers.

7. Epi Apartments; Seattle, Washington We're all for occasional quirkiness, but in this case we're not sure how adding a bunch of almost intimidating, sharp-looking metal shapes onto an otherwise bland building enhances it. The building's website boldly refers to the structure as "The center of the center of the universe."

6. Chang Building ("The Elephant Tower"); Bangkok, Thailand It's not that we think the design is that bad and we even like the intended humor. It's the half-hearted execution that turns this potentially fun idea from attraction to eyesore.

5. Geisel Library; University of California, San Diego, CA This library is one of the best examples of Brutalist architecture ever built, and that's not a compliment. Named after Audrey and Theodor Geisel (better known as Dr. Seuss), we think it would have been a whole lot prettier had its benefactor also been its architect.

4. Aoyama Technical College; Shibuya, Japan Ever wondered what you get when you cross a Transformers figurine, an oil well, and a curling rock? Now you know. The school's site offers that the building "represents a new order...through the tolerance of chaos."

3. Sharp Centre for Design; Toronto, Canada Although some call it innovative, there are others who call it intolerable. While the building's black and white squares combined with pencil-like stilt supports make it look like a clubhouse for crossword puzzle enthusiasts, this building is actually part of the Ontario College of Art & Design.

2. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum; Cleveland, Ohio Even the architect was unhappy with this one. Upon the building's completion, a displeased I.M. Pei admitted himself there's little harmony in these conflicting shapes.

1. J. Edgar Hoover Building (FBI HQ); Washington, D.C. This is reason alone to avoid the 10 Most Wanted list. Situated in the center of the city, this dreary 1970s behemoth is almost unavoidable. Its days may be numbered as discussions about the department's relocation are rumored to be swirling around the capital city

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8 Steps To Book Tatkal Ticket

19:42 India News, Knowledge, News, Tips No Comments

How new Tatkal booking system will help passengers

The Railways say the new system will ensure that a genuine passenger gets advantage and black marketeers get less time to sell their booked tickets

In an attempt to revamp the 'Tatkal' booking system amid complaints by passengers that touts corner tickets and sell them at a premium, the Indian Railway has introduced several measures to ensure that the 'Tatkal' scheme gets more commuter friendly.

The booking of 'Tatkal' tickets under the revamped scheme began on July 10 and zonal railways have been instructed to make adequate arrangement at reservation counters accordingly, the statement said.

These measures are to make sure that a genuine person gets the advantage and black marketeers get less time to sell their booked tickets.

New tatkal plan makes booking tickets easier

#1 Under the new scheme, passengers will be allowed to book tatkal tickets exclusively at reservation counters between 10 am to noon for the trains leaving next day.

#2 The railways also decided that no authorised agents, including those of the Indian Railways Catering and Tourism Corporation, will be allowed to book Tatkal tickets in the first two hours -- from 10 a.m. to 12 noon

#3 There will be separate queues and counters for passengers buying tickets under the Tatkal scheme.

#4 CCTVs will also be installed at booking counters to monitor the 'Taktal' booking system.

#5 Passengers will have carry self-attested identity proofs to buy a Tatkal ticket.

#6 The Indian Railways has also said that only four passengers can be booked on a single ticket in the Tatkal scheme.

#7 Agents booking tickets on the internet under the 'Tatkal' scheme can now only book one ticket per train per day only after 12 noon.

#8 Passengers booking tickets on the internet under the 'Tatkal' scheme can now only book two tickets between 10 am and 12 noon.

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10 Ways to Help for Success of your Kids

21:49 General Tips, Tips No Comments

I want my three daughters to succeed in everything from schoolwork to after school activities. I hope they'll find something they love and that they can excel at. I want them to be happy and well-adjusted.

In short, I want it all for them. How can I help them on the road to success?

1. Teach them to lose gracefully.

Kids who always win aren't going to be ready for the real world. Teach your child how to deal with disappointment. Let them see you try and fail while maintaining your composure.

2. Encourage perseverance.

Children need to learn to get back up after they fall. When you fall down, get back up and try again. Successful individuals are persistent people.

3. Be a constant presence.

Be there when your child needs help with their homework, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to talk to. The key to raising successful kids isn't an expensive present - it's your presence.

4. Cheer loudly.

Be your son or daughter's biggest cheerleader in whatever activities they choose. Don't point out their failings. Celebrate their progress, as well as their success.

5. Don't do it for them.

It can be tempting to help your child through the rough spots. Know your place. You won't help your child succeed if you do the work for them.

6. Try new things.

You'll never find your niche if you don't get out of your comfort zone and try something new. Encourage your child to try a new sport, read a new book, or get involved in a new activity. Be sure to let them see you do the same!

7. Nurture, don't shelter.

If you want to raise successful children, you'll need to walk a fine line between nurturing and supporting them and sheltering them from the real world. I wish I had some magic way of knowing which side of the line I'm treading on, but the truth is that you just have to trust your gut with this one. If you shelter your children too much, success will be so much harder to come by in life.

8. Play fair.

The old adage about cheaters rings true today. Remind your children (often) that fair play matters more than winning and losing.

9. Keep your cool.

Do you yell at the coach from the sidelines? Use obscenities to handle situations at home? Fly off the handle regularly? Keeping your cool inspires your kids to do the same.

10. Be the example.

If you want your child to succeed in life, be the example for them in all that you say and do. Children learn when we forget they're even watching. What did you teach your child today?

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Home remedies for your hair Care : Tips

21:44 Hair Care, Health, Tips No Comments

Fear not, because some of Britain's top hair experts have revealed their unusual but clever home remedies for lack-lustre locks.

Whether it's a flat barnet, dull colour or even pesky greys, try these nifty fixes with ingredients that can be found in your kitchen, make-up bag or even home office!

For a voluminous mane, hairstylist Luke Hersheson says the answer can be found in your fridge.

"Mist roots with a dark ale, beer or even champagne. The yeast adds volume while the alcohol sets it in place," he told the July issue of Elle UK.

If you fancy a new hue or want to try this season's trend for pastel shades, why not try a natural wash-out version before you make the change permanent?

"Add a couple of drops of food colouring to your conditioner and apply wherever you want it - it can be an all over tint or just on the ends. The less you use, the more pastel the colour. Lemon juice removes it," revealed hair stylist Duffy.

To cover up greys, Wella Professionals' creative director for colour, Josh Wood, recommended an unusal yet effective solution.

"Blend grey hairs into dark hair by using a fat-nibbed felt tip in a matching shade," he said.

And if you ever run out of hairwash, you can knock up a DIY dry shampoo with the contents of your bathroom cabinet.

"Crush up an eyeshadow that matches your hair, mix it with talcum powder and dust through [your hair] to banish grease and add oomph," Shu Uemura Art of Hair UK ambassador Stephen Low advised.

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8 reasons why you are not Earning Enough

20:56 Tips No Comments

1. You didn't negotiate well when you were hired. There's a lot of variation in whether and how people negotiate salary when they get a job offer. Some accept on the spot, others push for a little more money, and others push for a lot more--and some of them get it. (Unfortunately, asking for more after you're in the position probably won't close the gap; it's never as easy to negotiate after you've accepted the job.)

2. You haven't made sure your accomplishments on the job are visible. You could be doing the best work in the company, but if your manager doesn't know about it, your salary probably won't reflect it. Don't be shy about sharing accomplishments with your manager, whether it's glowing feedback from a customer, a tricky problem that you solved before it blew up, or a cost-saving measure you implemented.

3. You haven't pushed for a bigger raise. Many people just wait for their employer to reward them with a higher salary and simply accept what they're given, even when the amount disappoints them. Sometimes getting more money is as simple as asking for it--but you do need to ask.

4. You think doing your job adequately is enough. Doing a merely adequate job isn't enough to merit a significant salary increase. Big raises go to people who go well beyond the minimum expected. Speaking of which?

5. You haven't taken on enough responsibility. Big raises don't just get handed out because another year has gone by while you do the same work. A raise is recognition that you're now contributing at a significantly higher level than when your salary was last set. A raise says "your work is now worth more to us." So you need to make sure that's true before you make your pitch.

6. You're difficult to deal with. If you're defensive, a prima donna, negative, a regular complainer, or if you're otherwise difficult to work with, you might not be frustrating enough to fire, but no one is going to go out of their way to keep you, either, and that includes increasing your compensation.

7. Your skills aren't worth as much in today's market as you think they are. If you don't know what your experience and skills are bringing in today's job market, you might drastically overestimate what your skill set can command. Do some research on industry norms for your particular work in your geographic area and see where your salary falls relative to those markers.

8. You're not as valued as you think you are. Many people overestimate their own performance and their own value to their company--assuming the company would fall apart if they left, when in fact the company would continue on just fine. Pretend that you're your own manager and ask what about your performance would really impress you, or what about you your manager should be upset to lose if you left. If you can't come up with much, assume that ...

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Leave your hair problems behind, Forever

20:46 Hair Care, Tips No Comments

Research shows that weather and environment can cause hair damage. Specialists have raised caution over excessive usage of blow drying, flat ironing and other hair treatments that involve usage of heat to style hair. So how can we keep our hair nourished and looking fabulous at the same time?

No matter how good your shampoo is, if you have experienced dryness in your hair after a wash, it is testimony to the fact that your hair is damaged. Excessive damage leads to split-ends. Lack of exercise, bad food habits and polluted city environments are also adding to this damage.

In order to get a better idea about this, AC Nielsen in association with Dove organised a multi-city survey among women. In this research, it was found that:

55 per cent of women think their hair becomes rough and dry after a wash

91 per cent of women think their hair lacks nourishment because they are unable to oil regularly

But even though most of these women visited salons regularly for special hair treatments, it was found that a whopping 92 per cent of women believed that their hair needs special nourishment.

According to hair experts, most women clients between the age group of 25 - 45 are increasingly concerned about hair issues like split-ends and dryness. Hair is vulnerable to lot of factors like excessive exposure to sun/pollution, thermal and chemical treatments and even simple acts like improper brushing and blow drying. These factors may affect the protective layer of the hair leading to damaged cuticles, breakdown of the internal structure and protein loss resulting in hair damage. Split-ends and excessive dryness or brittleness of hair may indicate damage.

And that's not all. Further research reveals:

49 per cent of these women feel they end up damaging their hair in the process of beautifying
and 22 per cent of them face the problem of split-ends.

We know that weather and environment can cause hair damage as well. Specialists have raised caution over excessive usage of blow drying, flat ironing and other hair treatments that involve usage of heat to style hair. Furthermore, pollution, the sun, and lifestyle-related issues can also cause surface and internal damage of hair. It is no wonder that 49 per cent of the women felt that they end up damaging their hair in the process of beautifying it.

'Every woman is different and so is her hair'

According to hair experts, shampoos and conditioners fortified with oils or moisturisers are recommended for excessively dry hair with split-ends. Use of serums, masks and overnight treatments designed for specific hair issues will help maintain hair health in the long run.

But in a sea of hair care products, how can you select shampoos and conditioners that do more good than harm? We tell you how:

For dry hair:

Find the time to oil your hair, at least 2 times a week. Oil your hair an hour before getting into the shower and then wash off.

Choose a shampoo with specific Oil Care systems.

Tip: Dove's oil care shampoos have VITA Oils and a blend of coconut, almond and sunflower oil as well. This will get absorbed into the hair and replenish essential Vitamins.

For damaged (split-ends) hair:

Identify the problem areas and get a suitable haircut. Keep getting it trimmed every 2 months.
Choose a shampoo with Intense Repair systems. It should contain Fiber Actives and Micro Moisture Serum.
Focus as much on the tips of your hair, as much as you focus on the roots while oiling or conditioning your hair.

Tip: Dove's intense repair system reconstructs hair from within and reduces hair damage by up to 99 per cent from the first wash and its Micro Moisture Serum repairs hair from root to tip.

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Do you Love Plantation, Here is a Tip for Plantation

22:17 Tips No Comments

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