Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Aggressive kids born of poor parenting




The picture for representational purpose only.
 
 Kozhikode: Poor parenting and changes in lifestyle brought about by  the new socio-economic realities are also to blame for the increasing aggressiveness displayed by children and their use of abusive language today, believes noted psychiatrist, Dr S. Santhakumar.
 
“Changes in the socio-economic profile of the st­ate during the past three or four decades have to be taken into account while addressing the issue,” he says.
 
While agreeing that the language used by the new generation cinema and  on television has a big  influence on  children who are at an impressionable age and scores of studies have established the negative influence of television on them, he says this alone  cannot be blamed  for the foul language used by many of them today.
 
“We have to look at the larger picture as in most families parents don’t have enough time for their children as they are both working. They may think that by working hard to make  a living they are providing for their children’s future,  but unfortunately it is not so simple. Children have their own fantasies and desires and if parents are unable to devote more time to listening to them,  they  will try to fulfill them through other sources,” he warns.
 
“This is especially important in the age of the Internet and mobile phones. I am not saying parents should spy on their children, but they should have a clear understanding about the kind of networking they have, “ he underlines.
 
Although in most cases  children can be cured of aggressive behavior if the problem is addressed, in  some cases they are beyond help, he says. “ I feel sad for such children and their parents,” he adds. 

Positive parenting won't make up for yelling, insulting





Young adults who had been criticized, insulted or threatened by a parent growing up were more likely to be anxious or depressed, in a new study.
Even when the same or another parent expressed plenty of affection, researchers found the apparent harmful effects of having a verbally aggressive mother or father persisted.
"There's a fair amount of data out there that says that parental verbal aggression toward a kid is very damaging," Byron R. Egeland said.
"In many instances, people find it to be as damaging as actual physical abuse," he told Reuters Health.
Egeland has studied child maltreatment and development at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis and was not involved in the new research.
Past research has linked verbally aggressive parenting to changes in children's brain development and to personality disorders later in life, researchers led by Ann Polcari write in the journal Child Abuse & Neglect.
Polcari, from Northeastern University in Boston, and her colleagues wanted to see whether also receiving affection from parents would lessen those impacts.
Their study included about 2,500 young people, ages 18 to 25. They each took a series of online surveys as part of being screened for in-person tests and interviews for other research.
Participants reported both on their current mental health and wellbeing and on their experiences with their parents growing up.
They rated each of their parent's verbal aggression on a scale from zero to 105, based on how often mothers or fathers yelled at, scolded, insulted and blamed them as kids. More verbally aggressive parents got higher scores.
Study participants gave their mother's verbal aggression an average score of 22. They scored fathers between 26 and 29.
Verbal affection was measured from zero to 84, with higher scores reflecting a parent who expressed more affection and engaged in more meaningful conversations with the child.
Participants scored their mothers between 65 and 66 on that scale, on average, and their fathers between 54 and 55.
Young adults tended to have more psychiatric symptoms like anxiety and depression when either their mother or their father was verbally aggressive.
What's more, although having a verbally affectionate parent seemed to have a positive impact on young people's wellbeing, it didn't make up for having a second parent who was verbally aggressive, Polcari's team found.
And having one parent who was both affectionate and aggressive wasn't any better for a young person's psychiatric health than if that parent was only aggressive.
"It isn't as if one cancels the other," Timothy Moore, from York University in Toronto, told Reuters Health.
"Whatever the benefits of positive expressions may be, the negative association between verbal aggression and adjustment persisted," Moore said. He has studied the effects of verbal aggression in childhood but wasn't involved in the new study.
"It certainly is important that there be somebody there that the kid can count on, starting at an early age," Egeland said.
"But a large amount of verbal abuse or for that matter having a parent who is emotionally unavailable or physically abuses the kid - those kids will grow up with the idea that they can't count on others. Those are kids that oftentimes don't benefit from the support of a neighbor or coach or relative," he said.
"If the abuse starts at a very early age, it's likely that kid is not going to have trust in much of anybody."
Egeland said the fact that verbal aggression is more common in poor families means children who experience it are also more likely to have single parents and lower quality schools - compounding their risks.
One limitation of the study, the researchers noted, is that participants recalled their parents' verbal aggression from years earlier to the best of their memories. They also reported their own symptoms and weren't checked by a doctor for psychiatric illness.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Read this small story; Hope that makes a BIG change in YOU

Read this small story; Hope that makes a BIG change in YOU

The Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?"
'50gms!'..... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ...the students answered.
"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"
'Nothing' …..the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!"


….. Ventured another student & all the students laughed
"Very good.


But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" Asked the professor.
'No'…. Was the answer.
"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"
The students were puzzled.
"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.
"Put the glass down!" said one of the students
"Exactly!" said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before you go to sleep...
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So, when you start your day today, Remember friend to ‘PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

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